There is an archetype in the American zeitgeist of the repentant man. About dudes who only realize their potential or appreciate what they have after they have lost it, or done some ignorant-ass shit to throw it away. Cheating on your wife does not make you a better husband. I don't care if it makes you realize what you stand to lose, or even if you realize that trollop you were being unfaithful with is dumber than a sack of hammers. You shouldn't have had to fuck up in the first place. And this epiphaniac change of heart new leaf turnaround should not make your fuckups forgivable. Not to mention how insulting and demeaning it is to women. Would you forgive your spouses indiscretion, Mr. American Ideal? No. you would assume she was an untrustworthy floozie. so why is forgiveness expected for you, sir? why do you get all the second chances? because only after hitting bottom did you find jesus? what of we who make no atonements? What of we men who don't need to hit rock bottom because we never chose to go down the crack rocks fun slide? What of we who don't need to be unfaithful to commit to our relationships? where is our standard held? our American myth? no. we are milquetoasts, afraid of living. boring and predictable. not enough lip-curling rock-and-roll cowboy to garner a legend with some goddamn scruples. Our American archetype? nice guys finish last.
maybe it's not an American construct. Maybe it's just a male directive to act like a piece of shit and then pretend you're a better person for it. know what makes you a better person? being one. not some lesson learned, and not the apology after the fact.
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